Friday, September 24, 2010

If you're looking for me...

I've moved to tumblr because I feel there are more readers there.

I will not neglect this blog though so I'm changing this blog into an art blog, where I post in most of my artworks. I'm also changing this blog into a tutorial/wip blogs and will answer questions when needed (if there is someone reading this lame blog).

I'm looking forward for your cooperation.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sigh. Although I'm born in July, this year's July really brings me down. I'm so not looking forward for my so-called 'birthday'.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Uncontrolable Rant

No one reads my blog anyways (except Adi...) so I'm just gonna rant here throughout and I don't give a flying fuck.

I've been really angry and cranky recently since Friday, the starting of our 3 weekend holiday. It was suppose to be a fun thing. It's suppose to be something I look forward to and enjoy...


They're not giving me any breaks. Not asking me any considerations. OR asking me how I would feel. And afterall I've done to them? Seriously, I've made so much sacrifice to them, they would never see me cry in front of them because how painful it felt to do these things without anyone giving me any appreciation.

All I wanted is to be treated right. If you know I hate the fact you use my car without buying the fuel, then don't use the fucking car. Do I need to tell you this? YOU'RE FUCKING 3 YEARS OLDER THAN ME!!

If you know that it's hard for me to save money for marriage. Why are you willing to ask money from me? I've given away 98 fucking % to you guys and I only had 2% for savings. Usually use for emergencies.

Do you know how hard it is to be a teacher in the morning and have to do other things to earn money throughout the afternoon to night? I have fucking insomnia because of this. I did commissions and recently braided bracelets so I could make money for marriage. I was happy to finally collect $50 for all the extra hard work I did... it went to another emergency caused.

You know how painful it felt to be keeping that money for something life-changing and giving it away for something not worth my time? It hurts so deep inside and I realize how it felt like to have dreams scattered to millions of pieces over and over and over and over again.

And this is all the thanks I get?

Someday, you would know how it feels like without me around to support you.

You dumb fucks.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Nervous Countdown...

Ok. I'm performing in a gig next week (11th June 2010). I'm performing solo...

My name's in the poster!! XD

I used to perform a lot as a solo back then. Since I joined a band, I was inactive in performance for about 3 to 4 years. Now, I'm finally back out there on stage to sing my heart out. Yes, without a band. It was a last minute thing and I was told to sing for them. So I took the offer.



17 days of holiday in fact. I can't wait to just chill and do a lot of artworks. ^w^ My first aim during this h0liday is to get well from the coughs that I have been having. I want to practice singing as much as I could.

And I want to clean up my room. >x<"

I guess I could clean up my room later. I was thinking of redecorating my room. Now I'm thinking I'm not really sure I can do all that during the holidays.

Now... my main concern is...


Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Sun Will Set For You...

This took me weeks as I busied myself with the Alice works. It started even before the contest and I didn't have the time working on it.

Made entirely out of Adobe Photoshop CS4... with reference.

I'm thinking of moving to tumblr soon. Still thinking about it.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Oh Alice, dear. Where have you been?

Here's some of the entries I submitted for the 'Picture Yourself in Wonderland' contest on Deviant Art. Click on the image for a full view.

'Follow the White Rabbit'

'I'm Not a Flower'

'Like a Cat'

'My Snow White Queen'

I want to give Red Queen a try but I'm busy making other things for now. I got my preschool reading analysis to finish, Lesson plans for week 20, business cards to design, and portraits to finish. I just need to do these things then I could do Red Queen. ^w^

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tea Time

I wish I can has tea... or coffee... mainly coffee.

But hey, I'm doing just great without coffee. Mainly because I quit for almost 3 years without them.

Anyhoot, it's 1:25 friggin' am and I still can't sleep. Bugger. I pray I wouldn't fall asleep when I'm teaching. It's a no-no.

I made this for the contest in deviantart (Picture Yourself in Wonderland). Took some pictures and Adi suggests that I should immediately fix the picture due to deadline. Gots more to come. ^w^

Saturday, May 15, 2010


I browsed around the 'net and my usual Deviant Art and I stumbled upon this:

I'm thinking of joining because:

1. I love the movie
2. I love Tim Burton, Danny Elfman and Colleen Atwood
3. I love fairy tales
4. I love dressing up/cosplay
5. I want to experiment

And I'm thinking of photo manipulations but I need a cameraman (I can't take photos of myself) and a scene from the movie that I could follow/copy. And I maybe trying out either Alice or Chesire Cat.

I want to join for fun but at the same time.. I want to see if I could win something (I've never win any art related competitions... I'm so sad.)

Anyone reading this... got some ideas?


I found some clothes that could relate to either Alice OR the Red Queen... Bummer...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

March 1st

March 1st of last year was one of those toughest day of my life. My boyfriend (then, 4 years together) was involved in a car accident. He had internal brain injuries and was in a coma for 3-5 days and was in a semi-coma for 5 months. He woke up after that and his first words were 'Ma, aku kan ke jamban' (Ma, I want to use the toilet). He was unable to walk, get up and do things of his own. When I first heard his voice over the phone, I've never felt happier. After talking on the phone with him, I cried instantly and told the good news to my family. We visited him that weekend.

Today, I was browsing around facebook while making tutorials. I stumbled upon a status of a someone and it says something to do with a birthday greeting and also missing him after he's passed. I instantly wonder what's up so I browse around (like a little snoop. I'm like a stalker...) and found the guy's facebook. Apparently, he had a car accident and passed away on March 1st this year. He had a girlfriend and they were together for a year.

I could relate to the girl and I could not help but cry. Knowing that she had lost someone so close to her I felt her pain. But then I realize I can't completely relate to her because I'm the lucky one.

March 1st last year, Adi had a car accident and he survived.
March 1st this year, her boyfriend had a car accident and he passed away.

I looked at this girl and it made me wonder, 'This would have happened to me.', 'What will do?', 'Will I find someone else?'

I'll leave that answer on the alternate world of me.

I'm truly blessed to have him in my life... still. ^w^

p/s: I may not know you in real-life (or in facebook). My deepest sympathy to the girlfriend of the deceased boyfriend. May he be in a better place and you'll be together again someday. Al-Fatihah and happy birthday...

Saturday, May 1, 2010


Alright, I doubt anyone reads my blog 'cos I know I'm a lousy blogger. So here goes...

I'm in a side project band and we're called 'Silent Serenade'. It's a two member band, like She&Him. One's a singer, the other is a guitarist. We play acoustic songs and covers.

Apparently, we've caught attention a dude who's a 'talent agent'(?). And without auditions (and in less than a month), we got signed in. So... we're performing live in JP this month. Maybe from 14th til 16th.

I'm super nervous. I pray to God things go well. >x<

And what concerns me the most, since 'Silent Serenade' is a duo band that plays acoustically, it's normal to being nervous and being so concern of singing on stage....

I, on the other hand, concern about WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO WEAR?!

I don't know what to wear. Seriously, I don't. I like to dress up. Usually, during performances (solo) or cosplaying, I would doll up. But performing for the first time on stage in a band... I don't know what to wear... I would end up wearing the usual (and casual) sleeveless with cardigans, sneakers (or low heeled boots) and just a normal (un-skinnied) torn jeans.

Will that fit the image? >x<"

I need serious help...